My struggles with ‘living the dream’

Trying to juggle a new business, this personal blog, the Outdoor Bloggers network and everything else going on in my life is making my brain hurt a little bit. It feels like there is no room in my head for thoughts and many days seems to pass without the feeling I have accomplished something. And it’s been bothering me.

On one hand, I’m bursting with ideas and brimming with enthusiasm for each project I have on and I’m determined to make each one a success. However, it doesn’t actually seem to be happening. I’m not really getting any further ahead. I’m getting on with client work, going to lots of networking meetings and getting the essential stuff done, but I’m not pushing the boundaries as much as I had hoped.

Since going self-employed my home became my office and I spend each week day working on my business. Working from home has always been my career goal and now I have finally accomplished it, my routine isn’t quite how I envisioned it to be though.

Ultimately, the dream is to have a good work/life balance that allows me to be in the wood more. I want to be able to spend more time in the garden, playing with my pets, actually getting to see home in daylight hours during the winter month and, overall, actually enjoy living each day.

I want to spend more time writing and promoting this blog. I have so many ideas I want to put into practice yet I’m not finding the time to write any posts. The thought of writing posts for this blog, on top of working on my business and everything else, is actually making my brain freeze. I can’t seem to fit it in time wise and I can’t seem to fit it in mentally, either.

I want to grow Outdoor Bloggers so that its members have a valuable resource and a place to meet like-minded bloggers. Yet, this is pushed to the bottom of my priority list due to my business and my blog.

Reality isn’t quite like I had imaged. And it isn’t because it can’t be. I believe it’s because I’m stopping it from happening. Either that, or I have bitten off more than I can chew.

My business is still in the development stages meaning I’m spending a lot of time working on client projects, strategy planning, networking, quoting and marketing. There is just so much to do and so much more I want to get done. It’s exciting yet very overwhelming. It means that every time I try or want to focus on anything else, such as my blog, or preparing the vegetable patch for spring or research my next outdoor trip, I feel like I shouldn’t be concentrating on those things and, instead, I should be working on my business. I know I need to give myself a break but the feeling of guilt still won’t go away. So, to try to fix the issue, I spend more time on my business but gain no extra satisfaction.

I have implemented a ‘reward’ system which does help, when I stick to it: I complete an essential business task or two and then reward myself with a lesser-important task such as blogging or planting seeds.

Saving time as a result of not having to commute and also just being around more should mean I get to fit in more stuff. You know, stuff like posting that parcel, tidying that overflowing cupboard, giving that wall the lick of paint it so desperately needs? Even getting the food shopping ordered. Well, for some reason time runs away with me. When I worked in an office I had no choice but to rush around and get ‘stuff’ done. I just did it. Whereas now, I have the misleading concept that I have more time. Then it disappears!

The issue is me. My mindset isn’t right.

After years of a fixed routine dictated by the hours of employment my conscience is all messed up and I believe my mindset needs training to fit my new daily routine.

One of the solutions I would like to explore is meditation. I listened to a Ted Hour podcast which discussed the benefits of meditating every day. To be honest, I used to think meditation was just for hippies and spiritual-types but now I have heard so much about the positive effects it can have on anyone, whatever their personal beliefs and mindset. But, when do I fit it in? That’s no excuse though. I need to make time for it as it may provide a long-term solution.

I’d love to hear from anyone who has experienced the same transitional struggles as I am currently and I would also love to speak to anyone who uses meditation to maintain focus and positivity. Please get in touch if you have wisdom or heartache to share!




By Jenni Tulip

I'm a bright-haired, hill walking, magpie whispering, skull collecting, tree hugging, money saving, bird watching, happy campervanning, ferret fanatic, woodland dweller sharing my stories and passion for the outdoors to inspire you to immerse yourself in nature.